The train was speeding towards Kolkata and so were my thoughts in a different place . Somewhere in past, another train was speeding from Chandigarh to Surat. I remember the conversation when I was travelling together with two men in a 3rd AC coach. One looked Indian with “dude” accent, though the gentleman did not consider himself to be one. Surprised, are we? There are so many of them who won’t do a single thing for the country and would proudly say “this country is not for me. I think i feel suffocating here”. Yes sir/mam you should have gone back with the British.
And the other gentleman was a Bihari.
Ohh so the word must have had some effect on you. Let me guess now you are imagining a guy with a pan in his mouth spitting and saying words like budbak and sasura frequently in every line that he can speak. And don’t say you are not searching for his gamchha, even though i mentioned he is travelling in an AC coach. You just can’t omit pan and gamchha . Can you? Well, you will be disappointed he was very well dressed and had no gamchha at all, not on his neck, not on his shoulders and if some smart people may point, yeah, not even on his waist. But i know you won’t give up easily and now someone will say hey! what about his accent.
And you are not wrong here it is all about the accent.
Accent, the word itself is confusing. Take four people from different parts of the world and they will pronounce this word differently.
We have heard different accents for a same language from different people. And this accent phenomenon is prevalent everywhere. You don’t wanna be part of it, sorry, but you already are. Nobody has been spared from accent and no one will ever be . Accent matters and I am clearly not referring to Accent, the band here.
It seemed to me that our dude gentleman was from a extinct part of the country. He didn’t seem to like anything on the journey at all. Say a pillow, oh he hated it. A bottle, he disliked it. The window, he didn’t even want to take a peek in. Yes, he was a dissatisfied citizen. Wait, who isn’t?
Talking about satisfaction, it is a complex concept and hence imaginary.
From Arthashashtra to Kamasutra satisfaction remains a wicked term.
So what is the big deal if there are people who are unloyal, unworthy of their duties are dissatisfied . It’s just a normal abnormal feeling.
So where were we. Yep. our dude gentleman also liked to display things. Man is a social animal. Our gentleman was a social LCD . Ahh he just couldn’t help donating a glance of his new iPhone to others. And he didn’t spare anyone . Not only the lady in black , or the old grandfather cursing the present government. Even the wretched sweeper cum beggar cum blind was not spared. When the beggar would see with his blind puppy eyes towards him, he would show him his i phone, the side glance of course. So that he can save the back glance of the logo for the beautiful lady. Smart that he was. His life seemed to start with I phone and end with I phone. For such people the apple that eve ate got printed on the iPhone .
From time to time many people have tried to describe the Bihari way of speaking English. Among all Chetan Bhagat was the most terrible at it.
Anyways He is a great writer and we all know it.
Suddenly our Bihari gentleman spoke for the first time “Excuse me Can I have my waater bottle?” The Kool guy instead of handing him the bottle, started laughing. “Its Woter and not Waater .. lol man … When you Bihar Up guys gonna learn that .. Dont murder English please .. Its weird.”
Other than the gentleman, a lot of people from Bihar and UP got offended. The older dada even told him have some respect. He is older than you.
He calmly replied, ” Have you heard about a word called yes. Also if i say yep, ye , yeah , Yah , Aye , yo you would accept for yes . Isnt it.”
The kool guy nodded.
” So I hope you know it has evolved from different german, french, swiss accents. But they all mean same and you have accepted it . You don’t find it weird. Isnt it weird? But if say water just like its written, you find it weird.
If it is Woter why dont you write Wo instead of wa. So people have changed English according to their needs. The place from where I come we say what we write. In my mother tongue, We dont write Water and pronounce woter. Neither if we write a letter, we assume it is not written or hey the word is on a maun vrat today. You have accepted when they call Yog as Yoga, Ram as Rama. “A” is not an extra cheese that you can add anywhere you wish.
So my friend you might have accepted foreign ways for the same thing and fail to accept your own Indian version, but i reject it. You know I can very well.pronounce Water as woter. But I reject it. If you can accept English in French, German, British, american and similar accents, why not an Indian accent? Why not a Bihari accent?Looks like he did get offended. Bihar is full of people who are poor and people who get offended.
The kool guy unable to find an answer again dug himself inside his i Phone, this time, to hide his face .
As they say “Dont make a Bihari offensive . It wont be good for you”.
Saying this the Bihari gentleman took his gamchha out of his bag and headed towards the washroom.